May 2, 2005

Balls, trash, and tacos

Friday's baseball game was fun. We didn't get to stay past the 6th inning, but it didn't matter because WE GOT A BALL. Cute kids CAN be put to good use! I just propped Claire up on the fence, and she looked at the outfielder, and he tossed the ball to us. Then we had to leave because Child A was crying over the loss of her super, extra-long, pink balloon that popped when mommy "held" it after tearing it away from Child A because Child A was hitting innocent baseball-watchers in the head/arms/eyes; and Child B was screaming because I wouldn't let her climb the fence and run onto the diamond to give the first-baseman cotton candy. Actually, that's not true. I don't know the real reason she wanted to climb the fence, but she did. And when I was a HORRIBLE mother and refused to let her, she clued everyone in on what an ATROCIOUS BITCH I am by letting out a blood-curdling scream. So, as we climbed the stairs up to the concession area, I kept saying, "I'm sorry they're losing! It's not my fault! I'm so sorry!" My sorrowful apologetics, coupled with Claire's screams and tears got a few good laughs from the crowd.

Saturday was even more fun--if you can imagine that! Me, Scott, and my brother Shawn went to the motorcross. Oh yes, WHITE TRASH HAVEN. I have never seen so many mullets, fake boobs, or beer guts under one roof in my entire life. Some of which were on a single person. The motorcross is a Prime-A people-watching venue. Of course, I broke my diet and had to indulge in a $7.50 Bud Light. Because if it's SEVEN-FIFTY, it MUST be drawn straight out of those Colorado Rockies. A few of those, and you could have bought a plane ticket to Colorado. $7.50 for a beer. SEVEN FIFTY. I'm sorry, that's just so hard to grasp. After the motorcross, we went to Taco Cabana for some quick food. There, we paid $3.00 per beer, and we were overcharged. The cashier rang up Bud Light and Coors Light as premium beers. Premium, my ass. Then, the cashier committed a sin right in clear view of everyone. She threw a margarita in the TRASH. A perfectly good, delicious margarita. In a trash can. Why would you do such a thing? So you poured a "regular" instead of a "strawberry"--set the mispoured cup behind the tortilla heater and snag a sip between enchilada-rolling. Cripes. I thinkest thou dost hit the crack pipe oft too much, oh, Taco Cabana cashier.

4 comments:

DBFrank said...

Aye, a good mom, thinking on her feet! Kudos for not tossing the kids onto the field :)

Porkchop said...

If you had been MY Mom, all those SILENT thoughts regarding the margarita would have been said ALOUD to the cashier.

Yes. I get it honestly.

Anonymous said...

If you really want to witness the Mecca of Trailer Trash.....go to the Monster Truck show!!

QOS said...

the other day on the way back from lunch, I saw the most amazing mullet. Waist length - sky high.

Intern John and I observed five minutes of awestruck silence in honor of this spectacular display. I practically had to drag him away.

WHY DO I NEVER HAVE A CAMERA WHEN I NEED ONE!!!