May 6, 2005

Nickname: Scar

In just 12 weeks, me and my family will be vacationing in Cozumel with my best friend and her family. As I've mentioned before, that means "bathing suit." Although no matter how svelte I am by that time, my butt will always be too big, my hips too wide, and my stomach too flabby--that's just how I am, but I digress. Anyways, a new, but fun problem has come up. How do I explain my scars?

Background info: Malignant melanoma 2x, squamous cell 1x. Results: 3.5 inch scar above my belly button; 2-inch scar on my left, upper chest; 6-inch scar across my back. My skin, according to the surgeon, is very "elastic," so no strength of fishing line would hold my skin together. Therefore, I'm left with very big, very ugly, and VERY visible scars.

When people ask, which they always do, what should I tell them? I used to go with the 'ol standard "bar fight," but I'm getting bored of that.


void said...

How about, " I'll forgive you for asking - if you'll forgive me for NOT answering."

steelcowboy said...

Well, Mike put it well. Much more polite than "I got them in a fight with an idiot who asked too many questions" :)
Or tell them you got them fending off pirates on your last ocean voyage.

stewbie2 said...

I was thinking more along the lines of, "I got attacked by a barracuda." You never know. Barracuda are so temperamental.

void said...

Good, good ... how above just deep, uncontolled sobbing ... of course, put your face in your hands and run away.

steelcowboy said...

"What scars. Do you see something? Where?? Oh my GOD!" THEN run away crying.. hehe.

stewbie2 said...

hahahahaha! I LOVE IT!!

ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

Barraccuda...YES!!! :-) Even before I read your comment stewbie, I intended to write "Shark attack". :-)

People are rude for ever noticing stuff like this, so screw them. Carry your body with pride, because scars are nothing more than a part of the story of your life. :-) I mean that.

(take care),

Steve said...

Truth is it is none of their business and rude if they were to ask. How about just being you. Say whatever makes you most comfortable. Most importantly take care of you and your own needs.

Be well

jeni said...


this reminds me of a time when i was checking an 8 month pregnant woman into the hotel. or so i thought.

"oh! you're having a baby!!!" i said.

"no. my stomach looks like this because of swelling for radiation for cancer." she said.

" when will you be finished???" i asked.

"i finished six years ago." she said.

omg. i hope everyone who asks you anything feels half as STOOPIT as i did, and learns their lesson.

your friend who posted was right...those scars are just a part of your life story.

i carry my scars with pride at this point. they make a statement. "i'm still alive, assholes!"


amber lynn said...

Every girl feels that way about her body, right?

I have scars. I tell people I was shot and almost died and there was emergency surgery to take the bullet out. Make it something famous- like a shootout during the crackdown when the Italian Mob was getting Viagra from the doctors at the restaurant.

Or you could just say you were abducted by aliens and they inserted trackers into you.

Anonymous said...

just tell them you had Melanoma! and then look 'em in the eye and say: "yeah, now put YOUR Sunscreen on!"

Anonymous said...

You have it on your body. What would have Scar Face said about his.

Kim said...

oh my, I don't think I could decide upon one excuse! There are so many! You could say your lover did it in a fit of passion and that he was hung like a horse... You could say you got it while making a break from prison and got hooked on the barbed wire then ask themto please not alert the authorities as you've changed immensely, you could say you were abducted by a cult of pagan sun worshipers and escaped moments before your entrails were strung as, the skies the limit! I'd have way too much fun with that one I think...

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