Dec 5, 2008

Conversations with Clairey and Jenna

Last night at dinner, Clairey was explaining part of the movie, "The Santa Clause" to me...

Claire: "..and then these elves come in, but they're not really elves, they're Secret Asians."

Me: "What? They're what? Secret Agents?"

Clairey: "Yep. Secret Asians."

Me: "Secret Asians?? What are they, like ninjas or something?" [And yes, me and SMM were totally laughing our asses off by now.]

Clairey: "Yeah! They were engines!"

Me: "Secret Asian Injuns??"

Clairey: "Yep. Secret Asian Injuns."

Note: We watched "The Santa Clause" last night. I saw no Asians--secret or not, and definitely didn't see any injuns.

This morning, i made the girls eggs and toast for breakfast, and this is their conversation.

Clairey: "Jen, we're eating baby chickens."

Jenna: "No we're not. This is just an egg."

Clairey: "But an egg is a baby chicken."

Jenna: "No, it's just an egg that came out of the mommy chicken's butt. It's just an EGG. The mommy chicken needs to be married to the daddy chicken to make an egg with a baby chicken inside."

Clairey: "How to chickens get married?"

Jenna: "Well, they touch their beaks--you know, they kinda rub their beaks together. Right mom?"

Me: "Um...not sure. I've never conducted a chicken marriage."

You know all those wrinkles I have around my eyes? It's from laughing SO. DAMN. HARD.

Dec 2, 2008

Worth mentioning

So, i'm watching "The Wiggles" with The Munch. One of the Wiggles just said, "Let's go talk to Capatin Good Blow. He is, a GOOD BLOW."

I sat here for a while thinking, "No shit?" Then realized they're saying, "Good BLOKE."

His arrival is imminent...

Our naked cat will be moving in around mid-January. His name is "Tito Nakie Doopah of Lekittysplit." We'll just call him "Tito" for short. I can't wait.

All hail the hairless cat. Meow. And yes, I KNOW, that there are a million "hairless pussy" jokes that can be tied to this. I KNOW.

Dec 1, 2008

Let the fun begin...

So, I had all last week off. Oh yes...NO WORK. I was thrilled. So, what did I do? I touched up the crown molding, Christmas shopped, reupholstered 1 of 6 dining room chairs, halfway reupholstered another, and completely f-ed up another.

Thanksgiving morning. Scene: I'm in bed, SMM is getting dressed. It's the ungodly hour of 630am or something like that.

Me: "Babe...what are you doing?"
Smm: "I'm going to go pick up a Thanksgiving hooker."
Me: "Oh...alright."
Smm: "I'm gonna get a black one this year."
Me: "Sweet."

On another note, Clairey and i were talking about the rennaisance faire of 2007:
Clairey: "...yeah, i got to ride the efalint. His skin was kinda scratchy. There was a canimal there, too, but i didn't ride him."
Me: "A what?"
Clairey: "A CANIMAL. You know...those animals with a lump on their back."

And, that's all folks!