"He's been absent NINE times..."
--sigh-- Today is Jenna's 9th birthday. --sigh--
I don't know what else to say.
Guess i'll give it a shot....
Today is the day i became a mommy for the very first time. Today is the day that i held a precious baby in my arms that sprang from MY loins and thought, "HOLY SHIT. HOW THE HECK DID I DO THIS?" At the same time, I was looking at this little baby and feeling such an amazing love, that I didn't think it was possible. For nine years, I have been a mommy. A fixer of boo-boos, a healer with hugs, a
My sweet Jenna-girl,
I owe you so much more than inducting me into the role of "mommy." I owe you my life and my heart. When you were born, I realized why God put me here--and I saw God, for the first time with clear eyes, when I saw you. You were born a faith builder...a tiny savior of my heart. Nine years later, I could use a tiny savior of my sanity, but that loss has been a combined effort of you and your sister both. But I digress...
Still today, seeing the world through your eyes, continues to be amazing. I absolutely love how you can find beauty or interest in ANYTHING. Do you know how many "special" rocks you have gifted me with? I'm sitting at my desk, and I can see two--I know of at least another in my drawer, and one in my car, and another in the kitchen....you get the picture. And all these rocks, although just "rocks" to some, are treasures to you. You'll say, "Mom! Look at this rock! Look how it has lines through it! See how they sparkle?!" or "Mom! Look how this rock is greenish! I've never seen a green rock! It must be lucky!" I love these treasures, Jen. I love how you give them to me. I'll die an old woman, surrounded by special rocks.
Right now, you and your sister enjoy irritating the hell out of each other, and beating the holy crap out of each other when you're not irritating each other. I know you guys are really close in age, but jeez almighty, just knock one another out, will ya? Where was I going with this? Oh yes...you and your sister bicker constantly...then at night, you'll sneak into her room and kiss her and tell her you love her. I've been the big sister--i know it's hard. But, despite the constant arguing, you are a good sister. You are setting a great example for Clairey, and I am so proud of you. I-AM-SO-PROUD-OF-YOU.
I love you, Jenna-J. More than you will ever, ever know--at least until you have a baby of your own (or a cheetah). You are my heart, and you will always, always be my sweet girl.