Feb 29, 2008

Conversations with Clairey

Me and the munch were watching Disney this morning before work/sitters:

Me: I'll be right back--i'm going to get a cup of coffee.

Clairey: [yelling from the living room] Get me one, too!

She's such a nut.

The post wherein i suffocate the animals

Last night, Jenna cried. For an hour. Oh yes, an HOUR. Let me recap:

Mom [pointing to the folded laundry]: Hey, Jen...take your stack of 'whites' up to your room, please.

Jenna: Ugggghhhhh....I don't want to...I HATE it.

Mom: Yeah, I hate laundry, too. Now take your whites upstairs.

Jenna: Noooooooo.....aaaahhhhhhhgggggghhhhh [a sound similar to dying]

Mom: Jen. Go pick up your clothes and go set them on your bed. I don't care if you don't put them away, just go put them upstairs.

Jenna: I don't want to....aaaahhhhhggggggg.....

Mom: Jen, if you don't put them away, i'm going to take a garbage bag up to your room, and throw all your animals in it.

Jenna: NO!!! No, no, no, no, no.....aaaahhhhhrrrrgggggghhhhh......

Mom: Jenna. This is NOT difficult. Put up your clothes, or I will put up your stuffed animals.

Jenna: [I'm getting tired of typing--again, she made the dying sound.]

This went on whilst I made dinner. THEN, I grabbed a garbage bag and went upstairs. Of course, she followed. You would THINK that she just would have grabbed her clothes, you know, since she was going upstairs anyways. NOPE. Instead, she just screamed and begged while i put all her animals into a Hefty bag. Then i put them in the garage. And then...THEN...for an hour straight, Jenna continued to cry and ask over and over and over, "MOMMmmmmmmm....PUHLEASE answer me....." The thing is, she wasn't actually asking me anything. This went on for an HOUR.

Six. It's so dramatic.

Feb 21, 2008


The Poohzer lost another tooth last night. :)

And of course, The Munch can't wait for HERS to fall out!

My precious little babies....

Feb 15, 2008

Conversations with Jenna

Whilst eating at Subway:

Me: So, Jen...how was school today?
Jen: It was really great. I excercised self-control.
Me: [odd look. People across from us--busting out laughing.] You what?
Jen: I excercised self-control.
Me: Um. Wow. That's really great. Exactly how did you do that?
Jen: Well, I sat cross-legged, held a bubble in my mouth, and put my finger by my lips [demonstrates by blowing up her cheeks and holding her finger to her mouth].
Me: That's fantastic baby.

Seriously...where's this kid from??

Feb 13, 2008

Micro-managing bullshit

So, I got moved to a different client at work. "Consider this a promotion," my boss said. So I did. For about 2 minutes. There is this woman that is...how do I describe her position...let's just say the "client concierge." This is a big client, so the woman's job is to keep her happy. The woman's job is NOT to weasel her ass into my projects, but lo and behold, she does. All. the. time. I want to throw pointed objects at her head.

She's one of those people that has the fake, falsetto, "sunshine" voice. She's also apparently gone to some kind of management training, because I swear-to-God, if she utters one more "bingo" word i'm going to beat her. She's all "out of the box," and "Let's just ensure our customer is happy, happy, happy!" Like I said: Die, woman, die. Don't get me wrong--I am all about keeping the customer happy. I will bend over backwards and take a con-call whilst making dinner for my family, but i am NOT a blow-sunshine-up-your-ass type of person. I don't tell the customer what they WANT to hear--I tell them the truth. I don't set up false expectations. I do, however, get the job done, and give them what they want.

Yesterday, Crazy MicroManager actually told us (3 of us handle this account) that it was unfair to the creative team to ask them to burn 6 cds in 24 hours. "That kind of thing causes dissention among the team! It's just not healthy!" PUKE. If we can't burn six frickin' cds for a $2.5 million dollar client, I'LL do the client a favor and direct them to somebody that can. Sweet baby Jesus.

I'm a project manager. I have LOTS of experience. Someone please hire me before I become a convicted killer.

Feb 1, 2008

Jenna's 100th day of school

This is how she got off the bus today:

Gotta love the hat. It has 10 strips of paper, with 10 things on each strip. The poster was her homework last weekend. She had to put 100 things on it--she chose "Cheetah Spots." How perfectly jenna...

SMM's Birthday!

Today, the glorious day of February 1st, is Sock-Monkey-Man's birthday. So, to you, my love, I offer you birthday wishes in verse:

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday my honey,
Happy Birthday to you!

Today is shaping up to be pretty damn good. My first meeting was only 10 minutes long, and my second meeting was cancelled. Heck ya! I'm about to crack open a bottle of champagne. Who the hell schedules meetings on a Friday??

Also, someone is coming out to offer me an overpriced estimate on granite countertops. I just HAVE to do it. I have to see how much it would be. They're just SO PRETTY, and sparkly, and shiny...

--sigh-- Granite taste, laminate budget...