Jul 24, 2010

You know how you get chicken pox, right?

I searched my blog, and I couldn't find where i blogged about this. Is one of you knows my blog better than I, please point me in the right direction. Anyhoo.....

Several months ago, the topic of chicken pox came up. Jenna was asking me and SMM how you get them. We love to lie to our kids, so SMM told them that you get chicken pox when a chicken bites you. And then went into this elaborate story about how he used to have to use chicken repellant because he grew up out in the country, and there were chickens all over the place. Of course, Jenna totally believed him and sat there and listened in wide-eyed wonder. I believe I was shoving food into my mouth in order to supress the laughter.

Now, many months later, this is still the belief amongst our children. You contract the chicken pox through the bite of a chicken.

A few weeks ago, Jen had random spots. I wasn't sure what they were, so I ran her up to the doctor's. As she's sitting on the table, with the doctor looking at her belly, the doctor says, "Well, I don't think they're chicken pox..." and Jenna says, with GREAT concern in her voice, "They CAN'T be! I haven't been bitten by any chickens!"

Let me just tell you--i have totally mastered the art of keeping a straight face. The doctor looked at me, I looked at him, and said, "This is true. She has not been bitten by any chickens." The doctor rolled his eyes, and went back to inspecting the spots. He knows how i work.

P.S.: Turns out the spots were caused from her immune system overreacting to a bug bite.

P.S.S.: NO chicken repellant was needed.

Jul 22, 2010

On another note...

I need new boobs.

Helllllllo, my lovelies

Why, hello everyone! Miss me? Probably not. Miss the antics of my children? Of COURSE you do. You love them, and you know it.

So, what's going on, you ask? Let's see...still working (thank you, God) and loving my job. I get paid to Tweet. How awesome is that??? It's very awesome. In my spare time, I'm a Beachbody coach (www.beachbodycoach.com/FitWisdom) and will have my personal training certificate in about 4 weeks. 5 weeks if I don't hurry up and get my shit together.

Here's my BeachBody spiel (scroll down if you don't want to read it):
I started with P90X in 10/09. I did it for the requisite 90 days and lost 24 lbs. I did it for an additional 30 days and then started another Beachbody program--Insanity. That is, my friends, INSANE. They got the naming right. I did that for the requisite 60 days, and lost another 10 lbs. YEP--down THIRTY pounds. You may all cheer and clap victoriously. I'm waiting. Okay, thanks. I HIGHLY recommend Beachbody products. They work, which is what's important. I LOVE them, which is why i now tell people to buy them. Email me at FitWisdom@beachbodycoach.com for more info. You can see my profile pic, and you will want to buy P90X. You will. I have ABS, people. VISIBLE abdominal muscles. I look like a bad ass. You should look like one, too. No excuses.

Okay, back to my children.
They are delicious and i want to eat them all up, and just spit out the sassy parts (their mouths). They have more sass than....whatever has sass. Namely, ME. They are sassier than I ever was. Truthfully, you can ask my mom.

Jenna is tall, and gorgeous, and sassy. Clairey is tiny, and precious, and sassy. See the similarities?
Jenna is taking off the summer--she's doing nothing. She went to "pony camp" for a week where she, apparently, made 50 new "BFFs" and hasn't spoken to any of them since--yet they still remain her "BFFs." I just let it go. No piano for her until September, and no dance, either.

Clairey starts HER camp this monday. She's going to theatre camp. "Clairey, in theatre camp?" You ask. "Surely, you jest--that child is neither funny nor dramatic." Oh yes, i agree (rolling my eyes). I'm going to send her to camp with a warning letter pinned to her shirt. Get this: they have auditions for the leading role of "Hansel and Gretel" that first day. Clairey wants to audition, so she's been preparing a monologue and a song. She's so freakin' funny. If they cast her as a tree, i'll have to go beat up a lot of asses.

So, that's my summer in a nutshell.

Jul 7, 2010

Who's that lady?

Clairey, thanks to the recent Swiffer commercial, has been going around the house singing, "Who's that lady?? Sexxxxxxy lady...." Thanks, Swiffer. That's just what I need. A 6-year old singing about a sexy lady. Jeesh.

And, speaking of sexy ladies...look at this picture of my mommy. Isn't she gorgeous?


Jul 2, 2010

Happy Birthday to Danny!

Does anyone remember Danny? Apparently, it's young Danny's birthday. The girls are upstairs, having a tea party, singing "Happy Birthday" to Danny.

Clairey just walked down here and asked, "Since today is Danny's birthday, can we go out to dinner?" Um, no small one. No. We don't celebrate lambs. We eat them.

Mmmmm....lamb chops. Maybe we SHOULD go out to dinner.