Mar 29, 2011

Hormone-itis

Jenna is 9. Jenna is becoming hormonal. We should all pack and move to another country before it gets out of hand. Oh wait...too late.

On Sunday night, Jenna was in a real state. A real state of WHACKED OUT, is what it was. She had just come back from a really bad Girl Scout camping exprience, and apparently, while at GS camp, she contracted a major case of hormone-itis.

Sunday evening, she sat at the breakfast table, bawling, because of the so-called 'nature' center this campground had. Apparently, there was a bobcat display that, according to Jen's description, was 'just a head and a bunch of clumpy fur lying around.' Now, in MY head, i'm picturing a diseased carcass with tufts of fur that have been ripped off it's body just blowing around in a box--the kid has a way with descriptions. Regardless, the bobcat display bothered her. HORRIBLY. Horribly enough, in fact, that SMM and I had to listen to her cry about it for about 25 minutes. And not just cry, but well up with tears and get all slobbery and messy about it. I must see this bobcat exhibit. Somewhere in between the sobfest, I started making spaghetti for dinner [yes, this sounds random, but remember this little tidbit]. Jenna offered to help, and I said okay--simply because i wanted her to stop crying. But THEN, because we were on the subject of 'nature' exhibits, she started talking about the Africa exhibit at the museum. THAT started another whole round of sobs. She hadn't realized, up until this point, I guess, that those were REAL lions/cheetahs/etc. that have been immortalized through the fun of filling 'em full of stuffing. So we spent the next 15 minutes telling her that no, people do NOT go out and shoot these animals simply for the fun of stuffing them and putting them in a museum. She FINALLY started to settle down.

I shot a glance over to the stove and saw that the water was boiling, "Oh, the water's boiling!" and I got up to throw the noodles in. Jen broke out into wailing tears and ran into the bathroom. SMM just looked at me like, "What the hell???"
"That's DEFINITELY hormonal," I said.
"I'm not ready for this," he said.
"You never will be."

Because, truthfully, no one is ready for the wrath of hormones. NO ONE. No one is safe.

I gave Jen a minute, then walked to the bathroom and opened the door. She was sitting up on the counter, hunched into a ball, sniffing. I put my hand on her shoulder, "Baby, what's wrong?"
"I should have KNOOOOOOWN!!!" she wailed.
"Known what?"
"That the water was BOILING!!!" and more hysterical crying ensued. I tried not to laugh. I did well (patting myself on the back).
"Um...it's okay that you didn't know the water was boiling. I'm not mad that you didn't know. Really, it's okay."
"Okay..." [sob, sob, sob] "I think i've just had a really disappointing weekend."

I am SO not ready for this.

Mar 23, 2011

Of indivirdginal pictures and hobos

Sorry...it's always Clairey. Jenna is more refined in conversation and only talks about cheetahs.

Last night, as i was tucking Clairey into bed, she was staring off into space:
Me: What are you thinking about?
C: Oh, i'm just hoping hobos don't break into our house and eat my fish.
Me: [Where the heck did she learn the term 'hobo'??] Um. Okay. Why would they do that?
C: Because hobos are mean. Well, the BOY hobos are. The lady ones are probably nice.

I just stared at her, because really...what do you say to that? She continued on...in a different direction, because it's Claire.

C: The guy that took our indivirdginal pictures at school today was nice.
[Ahem...'indivirdginal' = 'individual']
Me: Well, that's good.
C: Yeah, but the lady that took our class picture was really mean.
Me: Oh, yeah? Why? What did she do?
C: Oh, she just kept yelling at the kids in the front row to 'STAND on your knees!!' You know what i'm talking about?
Me: Yeah...when you're on your knees, but your butt is off the ground?
C: Yep. Anyways, she kept telling Ashley to stand on her knees, but Ashley kept standing up on her feet. So the lady was getting mad and yelling at her.
Me: Isn't Ashley the "special" girl?
C: Uh-uh, but i gotta admit...she does get rather annoying sometimes.
Me: Clairey, that's not nice.
C: Well, it's true! She's really ann...Man, she has the GREATEST t-shirts though! Oh my gosh, they're SO CUTE.

Really??? This is how our nightly chats go. No direction whatsoever. It's entertaining, to say the least.