Apr 16, 2010

Electric babies

Clairey has, since the age of 2, expressed interest in becoming a "baby doctor" aka obstetrician. I encourage that wholeheartedly. If i would've had the science smarts, i would have been either an OB or a vet.

So, with Clairey's step-mom being pregnant, there are a lot of baby questions floating around. Clairey has an all-about-babies book, that's pretty detailed, without showing an actual ween or discussing the act of sex. It DOES show egg and sperm and uses proper terms like, "uterus," rather than "stupid thing that i have no use for since i've already baked children." She's learning well, my friends.

At the moment, she's interested in the umbilical cord. We had a lengthy discussion on how "no, the baby doesn't taste the food the mommy eats through it," and how "no, the baby's 'waste' that goes through the cord is not a big chunk of poop," and other such gems. It mentions in the book how you should not immerse the baby's belly in water while the cord is still intact. I simply read that part, then kept reading.

Later the next day, on the way home from gymnastics, Clairey asked, "Mom, are umblilical [yes, that's how she says it] cords electrical?"

me: "Um...electrical? No. Why?"

Clairey: "Because you can't get them wet."

Keeps me laughing...

Apr 1, 2010

No, it's not about the Easter bunny

Every year, the girls and I talk about the REAL meaning of Easter (what it means for us)--casting Peeps, chocolate bunnies, and creepy people in bunny suits aside, that is.

On the way home from gymnastics, on Tuesday, we were discussing Easter. I was explaining that when the mourners got to the tomb, the rock had been rolled away, as Jesus had risen from the dead. Jenna, who (strangely enough) seems to have a better grasp on the inate power of God, just nodded--she's heard this every year and has always accepted it. Clairey, on the other hand--this kid just surprises me every year. THIS year, her question was: "So, if Jesus rose from the dead, was he a zombie?"
"No, no, he was not a zombie."
"But people that come back from the dead are zombies."
"God made sure that Jesus wasn't a zombie."
"Did Jesus break out of his coffin?"
"No, Jesus wasn't in a coffin. He was in a cave, with a big rock in front of it."
"So in case he turned into a zombie, he couldn't get out?"
"No, so people couldn't go in and steal his body."
"If he wasn't a zombie, how did he come back to life?"
"God brought him back."
"Did he have wings?"
"He wasn't a zombie?"


"How did he get to heaven?"
"God raised him up into heaven."
"He didn't fly with his wings?"
"So, what? Did he have a magic carpet or something?"
"No. God just raised him up, and he went up into heaven."
"Was there a 'green screen' like on tv?"
"Jeez! NO. God. just. raised. him. up. God can do this stuff, you know."

More silence.

"So, Jesus wasn't a zombie?"

Then Jenna chimes in, "Jeez, Claire. Do you really think God would make Jesus a zombie? That's his kid! [rolling eyes]."

I am always entertained, my friends. ALWAYS.