It's Sunday night, it's 745pm, and I'm at the office. Why, you ask? For two reasons: 1. To get some work done that absolutely HAS to be done by tomorrow, and since I'm not going to be here tomorrow, well... 2. To take a break. 3. To chill out. Wait a minute, that's 3 reasons. So sue me.
I'm having a total "bi-polar" moment/day//week, and as fabulous as I have been at hiding it from everyone I know and love, I'm about to commence "Project Major Spin," so I thought it would be wise to escape for a bit.
To work.
At my office.
What's wrong with this picture?!
So anyways, here I sit, contemplating suicide by Purell Hand Sanitizer, which would be good, since it "Kills 99.9% of germs"; or by stabbing myself repeatedly with my medium, round-stic, grip Bic ballpoint (in green). My desk scissors are entirely too dull to get the job done, the stapler's just a dumb idea; and even if I kept my office door shut and colored my dry-erase board solid, I know I'd just end up skipping around the building in my panties with a crown of shredded documentation on my head, rather than dying from dry-erase-board-marker-fume-inhalation.
I'm laughing at myself. I'm not sure if it's because I think I'm funny, or if it's because I'm insane.
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About Me
- stewbie2
- My name is Stephanie, but you may call me "stewbie." I live in the thriving metropolis of Houston, Tx., and from my loins have sprung two beautiful baby girls--Jenna and Claire. I'm not mean, but I am horribly sarcastic. I consider it a gift. I work full-time as Social Media expert/Digital Marketing director, edit on the side, and am usually at the gym or the theatre--pick one. Although I have a BA and MLA in Literature, I still use serial commas and sometimes, I use the semicolon incorrectly. Oh, and I also have a hairless cat. His name is "Tito."
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2005
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Apr 2005
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- Cotton candy and all that good stuff
- Get the skinny on what's hot in Hollywood
- Caramel or dead bodies?
- 007
- Thoughts on the snack machine
- I scream, you scream, and then I scream some more
- Conversations with Jenna
- Sunday night lights
- Mary's too busy
- It's "Friday Haiku" time!
- Barbara (part II)
- Request
- Barbara (part I)
- Good morning to you!
- This week
- Just craptacular
- Explanation required
- Not sure how to feel about this
- Hope there's not a "I'm-at-work-but-I'm-really-not...
- Did you get your tickets?
- Sibling stories-- The Rope
- Poopity poopity
- Conversations with Jenna
- Barton Springs
- Thy will be done
- Missing: Chicken enchilada
- Making your business public
- Close to a dozen
- Not your run-of-the-mill Republican
- The truth comes out
- Home Owners Association
- The best things in life
- Conversations with Jenna
- And the Lord said, I will spare the loving mother ...
- Oh. The. Pain.
- Pic o' the day
- Reality Bites
- Don't need a library card
- Sibling stories
- There's a first time for everything
- Not NYC
- VODKA: The silent killer
- Friday morning haiku
- Skip this post if you (1) Don't want to read about...
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Apr 2005
(44)
7 comments:
Stephanie, I just got home recently and thought I would make my rounds! What I know is that all of us understand the bipolar blues. If there is one thing I have learned it that "this too shall pass." May not make things better in the moment, but hang around a little while and do some breathing exercises. Remember those? You practiced them in birthing class prior to your kids being born.
Seriously, quiet breathing often does help.
If you can still laugh at yourself, then I'm pretty sure you are not insane...
The rest of the world may be, but you seem okay. :)
I love purell. My hubby told me last week that he thinks death by drowning must be the most peaceful way to die on earth, !!!, which doesn't say too much about what it must be like to be alive and live in our house. I think purell death would be better.
I hope you're doin better today babe. Personally, I think purell death might be the most peaceful of those options.
Don't do it! Don't do it! Stay with us!
I will try every. Single. One. Of Those Deaths Tomorrow. Which gives me plenty of time to go to my co-workers houses tonight and kill them all. For what they put me through today.
Anyone have ideas how to make, oh, say, twenty deaths look accidental?
Hope you get to feeling better...stay out of the office, it sounds like a "dangerous place" indeed. ;-)
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