Greensleeves

Jenna was sick yesterday, so I worked from home. Unlike many people I know, I actually WORK when I'm working from home. Not like the majority of the people here that "work" from home and do nothing but sleep, fart, and reply to emails every 2 hours with short, non-sensical phrases like, "Sounds good," "No problem," or "I have bowel movements in my drawers." No, they really don't use that last one, but they should.

Anyways, teaching a three-year old to use a handkerchief to wipe their nose is akin to teaching a man how to wipe their drips of pee off the toilet seat--it can't be done. Case in point: I went through a roll of Charmin yesterday wiping Jenna's nose. Half the time, it was dripping down toward her upper lip before she said something, so as I was running to the bathroom to get the toilet paper, I was yelling, "Do NOT lick your snot!" I got tired of running, so after a while, I got a burp rag, dubbed it the "booger rag," and told her to use that. So why, OH WHY, did I still end up with green sleeves? Because she STILL would wipe her nose on my sleeves! Feigning love and affection, Jenna would come up to me and hug me while simultaneously wiping her nose on my sleeve. NICE. When I'd ask, "WHAT did you just do?!" She'd answer, "I did nothing."

Well, you know...I'd rather have snot on my sleeves, than puke. Now THAT'S just disgusting.