Jan 26, 2006

The PC term is, "Vertically Challenged"

Okay, the stats are in, and the consensus is: My children are midgets. I'm sure that's not pc, but if I call my chicks midgets, they don't seem to care, so I'm going with it.

This evening, my neighbor and her kids came over for "breakfast for dinner." At one point, this was going to be a weekly thing, but then I got a boyfriend and she went and had a baby. Jeesh. Like it's not hard enough flipping pancakes with a new boyfriend in the picture, she had to go and add a whole 'nother kid to the mix. The nerve. Anyways, it was "breakfast for dinner" at my house. The moms start cooking, and the kids start screaming, because really, that's what they do. We're in the kitchen burning pancakes and flinging bacon grease in our eyes, and the kids are in the playroom beating the hell out of each other. It's quite the normal situation. Just louder. And more entertaining. Yea, that's it. So, there's bacon grease in my eye and on my friend's lip and thumb, and the kids are screaming and the eggs are smoking and the pancakes are burning. It's pretty much like a kegger, but instead of beer, there is milk; and instead of a keg, there's a plethora of sippy cups. "Soccer Mom Kegger 2006! Woooooo!!!"

I have no idea where I was going with this, so I'll just revert back to the title of this post, and go with that. My kids are small. Actually, Jenna's pretty much caught up to her peers and is simply described as "petite." Clairey, on the other hand, still looks funny when she runs because she's just SO SMALL. It's generally not too apparent to me, I mean, I'm a smallish-type person, so I expect my chicks to be of the "smallish type." When it becomes extremely apparent how small they are, however, is when you stand 'em right next to my friend's little girl, Loo. Now, I have to explain: My kids are small, her kids are so-not-small-because-they-come-from-stock-that-usually-eats-people-of-my-stature. Loo's daddy was a college football player, and her mommy was a college rower (that can't be the correct term for that...). They are both tall, built, and could kick your ass. Yeah, YOUR ass--I'm talking to you. Anyways, these people make large children. Case in point: Their 4-month old is the size of your average 9-month old. I'm not kidding. He's already being scouted by NFL teams.

So, this evening, simply for the joy of taking pictures of our kids so we could poke fun at them, I present to you, "Study in Height."



The kids, from left to right, are: Clairey (2), Loo (3), and Jenna (4). The age difference between Clairey and Loo is TEN MONTHS.

Good things come in small packages. Just remember that.

3 comments:

Sally said...

LOL....I'm a smallish petite person & DH is average & our kid is HUGE...ok, she's thinning out but she TALL...go figure...

DWJSDating? said...

I can't stop laughing!

My thumb feels fine, but looks bad. The Fly Eater is going to love this post... NFL scouts - ha!

Anonymous said...

Actually, the scariest part is that we realize that the 4 month old is noticeably bigger than our already giant Loo...

I am not the kind of dad who expects him to be an NFL player, though. A full ride to Ohio State would be enough... :-)

DH TFE