Conversations with Jenna

Mommy: Jenna, look at those beautiful twinkle-lights!
Jenna: Those aren't twinkle-lights, mom.
Mommy: Yes, they are.
Jenna: No, they're not.
Mommy: So, Miss Smarty-pants, what are they?
Jenna: They're lights that are shakin' their bodies!

The birds, the bees, and the boobies

I saw squirrels humping today. I have never seen that in my life. I really wanted to sit there and check it out, but my three-year-old would have asked too many questions, which I am not about to answer.

Not much to write about, except that I LOVE MY BABIES SO FRICKIN MUCH THAT I COULD EAT THEM FOR EVERY MEAL AND SNACK ON THEM IN BETWEEN.

Oh yes, one more thing: If Claire does not start begging off the boobies, there are gonna be some hard times ahead. I REFUSE to get up 2 times a night to give her unnecessary boobies. And, right now I'm making a promise: I will NOT give in to the pitiful crying; tears; the patting of my chest with that delicious, chubby little hand, and the teeny-tiny, gravely voice saying, "b-b-b-b-booooob-b-b-bies!" I will not fall victim to the sigh of relief she makes when I finally give her the coveted boobie; nor will I get a glow around my heart when she nurses, curls her belly against mine, and puts her hand on my face. Dammit. Maybe if I put a John Kerry mask on her, I won't fall victim to her cuteness.

Luva boy

It's funny how you can just be sitting at your desk working, when a memory just pops into your head. I'm talking a total blast from the past type of memory. When I was in 3rd grade, we moved to Texas. This tall, blond, gangly kid down the street decided he was my boyfriend. Now, in 3rd grade, I was still at prime "cooties" age, so why he liked me, I'll never know. He was nice, so I hung out with him. He never tried to "put the moves" on me--whatever "moves" it is boys have in the third grade. On Valentine's Day, he gave me a big, red, heart-shaped box of Whitman's chocolates and a Holly Hobbie card. The card had some young, tender message in it, and was signed, "Love, Jay Phelan." I wonder what happened to Jay Phelan.

Coal in your stocking

Last night, like all the other 30+ nights before, Jenna has wandered into our room and tried to sneak into bed with us. Usually, she accomplishes this; she is sly like a fox: climbing over the footboard and settling between us without causing even a stir between the two of us. Well, last night, I was prepared. Her first mistake: she tried to climb over me. CAUGHT!
I said, "Jenna, you know Santa only brings presents to good girls, right?"
"Right," she answered.
"Good girls sleep in their own beds, right?"
"Right."
I say, "So, let's go back into your bed."
Sternly, "NO. I need you, mommy."
Being all smart, I say, "So, I guess you don't want Santa to bring you 'Whack-a-Mole'?"
And, being my child, she looks me right in the eye, and says, "Nope."

Does reverse psychology EVER work? Not with this child.

All about her

Jenna: (grabbing mommy's face, under the chin, and looking at her with wide, expressive eyes) Have you seen that new, talking vacuum?!
Mommy: No, I haven't.
Jenna: Mommy, it is SO cool!
Mommy: Wherever would I find such a thing?
Jenna: (letting go of mommy's face and raising her hands in a confused act) I don't know!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Mommy: Claire, do you have pee-pee panties?
Claire: (slowly but emphatically shaking head up and down to say yes)
Mommy: Do you have poo-poo?
Claire: (slowly but emphatically shaking head side to side)
Mommy: Okay, let's go get new panties!Claire: (goes to her room, gets diaper and wipes, then lies on the floor)
~*~*~*~*~*~
Jenna: Mommy, I need 'hack-a-moe'
Mommy: I know, honey, I know.
Jenna: Mommy, I need 'elefun'
Mommy: Yes, honey, I know.
Jenna: Stephanie, I love you.
Mommy: What's my name?
Jenna: Mommy.Mommy: Then quit calling me Stephanie.
Jenna: Okay, Stephanie. I love you mommy.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Mommy: I love you boo magoo.
Claire: ah loo yoo, mommeee.
Mommy: (sitting in a melted lump of love and kisses, trying to figure out how to move before she eats the child standing before her)