Mar 9, 2009

Ballsack Cat

Yesterday, while playing fetch with Tito the Hairless Cat, I noticed that he had a...a SWELLING on the left side of his face which extended to under his kitty-chin-chin. Okay, so it was more than a swelling. I thought, "Holy FUCK! What the hell happened to the cat's head??" I grabbed him and took him upstairs to show my husband, so I could ask, "What the hell is this? Look at this cat!" My husband looked and said, "Yep. It's swollen." Thanks. I was hoping for, "Jeez. Maybe its xxxxx, or xxxxx." I don't know, throw me a bone here. So i took it upon myself to find out what was wrong.
I hopped on my computer and positioned my fingers to start typing. Then i wondered, "What the hell am I supposed to type?" "Cat face swollen as fuck." "Cat swollen lymph nodes." "Cat Strep Throat." I just gave up. I decided he had a goiter. I was calling him "goiter cat" all night. I don't even know what the hell a goiter is, except that old people get them, and they look like you probably stink when you have them. Is "goiter" even a "them," or is it an "it?" See? Told you I don't know.

Anyways, Goiter Cat is all better this morning. Which is good, because since he has no hair, it looked like he had a big, hairless ballsack under his chin. "Ballsack Cat" has a nice ring to it.

4 comments:

Amy said...

Maybe he injured himself while "teat suckling" -- maybe? Glad to hear he is better.

Anonymous said...

spider bite.

JD said...

Ballsack Cat.... oh my word, Steph, you need to consider a career in comedy. I'd pay to hear you, LOL!

JD said...

Maybe I'd even pay to see the cat...