I had to wake up early this morning. Well, not TECHNICALLY early, but I DID have to set the alarm clock to make sure we all woke up. Meaning, I set the Dora the Explorer alarm clock in Jenna's room to be sure that SHE got out of bed. However, by the time Dora started dinging, me and Clairey were already awake. You know, because she had been in my bed for approximately 45 minutes wrangling my hair with her hands, and kicking me in the ribs with her little toes. We all got up, got dressed, and headed out to Clairey's 830am dentist appointment. Except that today is the 6th and not the 7th. And that her appointment is actually at 810am and not 830am. TOMORROW. --sigh-- Oh, and did i mention that when i pulled my hamper out of the laundry chute this morning that there was a huge tree roach in the throes of death hiding behind it? Did i mention that? Hmmm, perhaps not. In that case, I WILL mention that when I got home from dropping off the chicks at the sitter's, and walked into my home, there was a hulk-sized OTHER tree roach lumbering it's disgusting self across my KITCHEN floor. Sweet baby Jesus. I hadn't even had coffee yet. It was moving SLOW. Until, of course, I screamed like a crazy anime person ("AIIIEEEEEE!!!") and lunged at it with a wad of paper towels the size of my head. THEN that stupid bastard ran with the speed of an Olympian. I managed to get it and flush it, but then had the shakes for about an hour. My kitchen is totally disinfected now, since i basically emptied a can of Lysol in there. I hate the rain. Yes, yes, i know it feeds nature and all that bullshit, but it also makes the tree roaches eek their way into my home. Oh, and the cat?? You would THINK that she would try to get the tree roach. Not so much. She looked at it whilst I screamed, "CAT! CAT!! DO YOUR FUCKING JOB!!" I hate that cat, too. The only way to fix the mess that was my morning was to finish off the bag of chocolate-chip graham snacks and drink copious amounts of coffee.
DONE.
However, i'm still scared to set my feet on the floor.
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Perfecting the art of sarcasm since 2004
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About Me
- stewbie2
- My name is Stephanie, but you may call me "stewbie." I live in the thriving metropolis of Houston, Tx., and from my loins have sprung two beautiful baby girls--Jenna and Claire. I'm not mean, but I am horribly sarcastic. I consider it a gift. I work full-time as Social Media expert/Digital Marketing director, edit on the side, and am usually at the gym or the theatre--pick one. Although I have a BA and MLA in Literature, I still use serial commas and sometimes, I use the semicolon incorrectly. Oh, and I also have a hairless cat. His name is "Tito."
2 comments:
Poor baby! I am trying not to laugh at your agony, but a few giggles escaped! Love you.
I find that a sweet treat makes everything better as well.
Insolent Insects.
And I too giggled.. especially at how you reprimanded the cat.
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