Feb 13, 2007

Who invented the speculum?

Because, seriously, they need their ass kicked. Every woman cringes when they hear this:

"Can you pass me the larger speculum, please? I can't see enough with this one."

Please. Please spread me as wide open as humanly possible because it's comfortable. About as comfortable as riding a boys bicycle then trying to hop up the curb and not making it and popping off the seat and landing directly onto said bar. Wait, it's even more uncomfortable than that.

And when the doctor says, "This is going to cramp a little," what she actually means is, "Hold on tight, because i'm going to put something that you can't see, up inside you, then it's going to pinch like a mother fucker."

If the doctor would just tell the truth, we all wouldn't get our hopes up about these "easy" procedures.

Good news: No cancer on the outside of the cervix. Now we wait for the internal report...

1 comment:

Manic Mom said...

Hope the internal report is as good as the outside! Great blog!