Conversations with Jenna

J: "Mom, I want to be a rockstar when I grow up."

M: "You can be anything you want to be, sweetie."

J: "Well, then I'm going to be a rockstar and sing this song on a big stage." (song was Kelly Clarkson's 'Since U Been Gone')

M: "You better start practicing your guitar."

J: "Oh, I'm not going to play the guitar. I told my friend Kaitlin that she was going to play the guitar, Sierra's going to play the drums, and I'M going to be the girl with the microphone, singing."

M: "You have it all planned out, eh?"

J: "Oh yea, that's how it's gonna be when I'm a grown up. Man, I can't wait 'til I'm FIVE."

For the guys...

I hate my uterus. Really. I fricking HATE. MY. UTERUS. The only good thing to come of it was the chicks. Now it's completely frickin useless and I no longer want the damn thing, nor do I want the lovely monthly reminder that comes with said uterus. UTERUS FOR SALE! Really, who the hell am I kidding. You can have the damn thing. FREE.

Uterus Haters, UNITE!

Conversations with Jenna

J: "Mom, when Punkin goes to heaven, you need to buy me a white cat and Clairey a black cat."

M: "Okay..."

J: "You never know, Punkin might get sick. She's been throwing up a lot lately."

M: "You think?"

J: Yeah, I think it's her food, or maybe it's just hairballs, I don't know. But anyways, I want a little, white cat."


Punkin better watch out. Jenna's gonna hire a cleaner to take her out.

ugh

Topics of the day: Stuffy noses. Itchy, watery eyes. Annoying fricking gnat-like fruity-fly thingies. "Mom, you can just go to hell." "Keeping it real."

Let's start at the top, shall we? (If anyone wants to get some cheese, I'm about to bring on the whine.)

My nose is all stuffy. Wahhh! It's that annoying stuffy nose where it's stuffy, but it keeps running. How is that possible? I'm about to just shove Kleenex (see? With the proper brand-capitalization even)up my nostrils just to save myself the time of continually wiping my nose, which is sure to result in some form of carpal tunnel syndrome in my wiping hand and already, a very red nose. Let's just add the watery eyes to the mix. Yay. I feel like ass.

Topic 2: Annoying fricking gnat-like fruity-fly thingies. They are all in my office. There is no rotting fruit here. There is no NOT rotting fuit here. There is me. And I am not rotting either. There is no reason for these flies. There are 2 live plants. One, I have already taken home, because it was surrounded by fruit-fly corpses, and I thought surely, SURELY, this plant was the bearer of the fruit flies. But no, the plant was my friend. It was the MURDERER of these obnoxious bastards. The other plant is going home with me today, and if the flies are still here, don't be surprised to see the 6-ft. tall banana tree outlined with chalk on the front walk. Oh yea, it's going DOWN. Excuse me, whilst I pick a fruit fly out of my teeth...

Topic 3: "Mom, you can go to hell." Funny, she's only four, but has already mastered the "go to hell" look. See for yourself:

She's a professional. I have so much to look forward to.

Topic 4: "Keeping it real." This, my friends, is the slang word of the day. Keep it real; keeping it real 1. to tell the truth 2: to behave in an unaffected manner, as true to one's personality rather than putting on airs or acting like someone else. Even though we were in the midst of renovating the kitchen, Punkin continued to keep it real by shoving her catnip mice-stash under the stove.

The beginnings of an NFL phenom

And here he is, ladies and gentlemen: the World's first ever, 6-month old draftee! Going by "Loco" --he just MIGHT be crazy...Crazy for FOOTBALL, that is-- this little guy has been genetically engineered to be the next big thing in the NFL.

Exhibit A: Here is Loco's foot (on the right), compared with that of a 2.5-year-old.


And here he is in all his burly glory:


To see more of this big guy, visit his homepage.

*and to think...I'm lucky enough to live across the street from this little guy!