Ticket, please!

Saturday, gymnastics was horrible. I should have known. Ten minutes before class even started, Jenna pitched in with, "I want to go home." She kept telling me this. UGH. Finally, once the class started, I threw her over the wall and told her to go sit on her dot. It was then, that the gates of hell opened. She screamed, and ran back to me. I went back out there with her. More screaming. Now parents are looking at me. Miss Becky took her over to the free-play area. Jenna climbed up and was going down the slides and such. I went to go sit down. Jenna screamed and came after me. Again, we return to the floor--Jenna sat on my lap, emitting evil looks from under her long lashes. --sigh-- We tried to get her to cooperate. More screaming. The teacher suggested we try the "Mommy and Me" class. We go over there, they welcome us into their group. Jenna's having fun, she participates. We go to another "station"--the teacher tells her what to do. She screams. She runs away. The teacher goes after her. About to beat her within an inch of her life, I pack up the stuff and we leave. As i'm absoutely FUMING, I buckle her into her seat and am just cussing non-stop in my head. Jenna then leans over, and says in her whispery voice, "Mommy, I love you so much." Damn it! We get home, and she has, without a doubt, the WILDEST day ever. Non-stop, riotous, full-charged, running around like a maniac, energetic, and a bunch more adjectives. I have NEVER seen her like this. It's like someone spiked the milk. It's insane. She finally just passes out at 6:45. YES, that would be six-forty-five P-M. Thank God mom was there. I spent the next hour just saying, "What am I doing wrong with her?" Sunday morning, Scott went out to get the mail--because in Jenna's super-charged whirlwind, I didn't have a moment to go and get it--and what would be inside, but a package from Heather! I opened it, and there it is...the book about the spirited child. I read the first page and almost cried--it's written about Jenna. While Scott fed the girls breakfast, I read. While the girls played in the playroom, I read. While Jenna watched "Dumbo," I read. Let me say, I have a totally different understanding of my spirited child! I used some of the techniques offered in the book, and Sunday was, without a doubt, the best day we've had in MONTHS! Jenna was so well-behaved, so NOT out-of-control! It was awesome! She went to bed, without a fight, at 730 last night, and was asleep by 8. I almost finished the book last night. I'm going to try to finish it tonight, then reread it just to make sure I got everything from it. What I have learned so far, is that Jenna's not "bad." She's energetic! I just have to learn how to parent that type of child!

Make a note of this

As Jenna was sleeping last night, she yelled out, "No! TWO is my favorite number!" What a fight to have.

Rant. And rant some more.

The demon was unleashed at gymnastics this Saturday. Well, kinda, but not really. It would be more proper to say "attention-deficit" kid was unleashed. Yes, that's much more accurate.

Things I should NOT hear the coach say:
1. "Jenna, we're over here, sweetie."
2. "Jenna, we're over here."
3. "Jenna, we're over here!"
4. "Jenna, over here!"
5. "Jenna? Jenna? Over here!"
6. "Jenna, get out of the foam pit."
7. "Jenna, get off the rings."
8. "Jenna, get off the beam."
9. "Jenna...Oh my gosh! No, Jenna! Do NOT do flips off the beam."

Don't get me wrong, it is very well-controlled--it's just that my child is not. She's not BAD, per se, but chooses not to hang with the group. The whole area of parents was laughing at her. Jenna, with the coach chasing after her, would leap over to me and say, "I need kisses, mom!" She has so much energy, it's insane. I actually had parents saying, "Man, how do you keep up with her?" Yes, I know that's a nice way of saying, "Your kid is horrid, what have you done wrong? Have you no parenting skills?!" Kiss my ass, people. My kid challenges authority. (Which often leads to an ass-whippin at home, but hey...)And continuing with the rant...the "non-compliance" of my child, if you will, leads me to the following question: Should we or should we not pull her out of Dot's and put her in full-time preschool? She definitely needs social structure, and she doesn't get it at Dot's. However, last night, she tells me, "Mom, I love Miss Dot so much." Ugh...hard decision. I don't know what to do.

Pale rider

The first day of October?! Jeesh. Today is my first checkup at the oncologist's, where I'm not going in after a biopsy. This is my first real, "Hey, we're just going to look at you," checkup. I'm a little nervous about it. I don't know why--i mean, I've been clear for a couple of months now. I just have this bad feeling that there's more. I wonder if I'll always have this feeling? I've done so well this summer--no sun. I got a little pink when we were in Coz this summer, but it was so little sun, that it was gone the next day. For the first year ever, I have no tan lines. NONE. I am so pale. I really look like a redhead now! My hair is more red than it's ever been, simply because the sun never had a chance to bleach it out. ~*~*~*~*~*~We took Jenna to Chuck E. Cheese last night, then to Baskin Robbins (I still want to call it "31 Flavors" or "31's"--must be the yankee in me coming out). I got her a kids scoop with whipped cream and colored jimmies. She's a nut--she loved it. I still can't believe she's three. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Horrible dream last night. I dreamt that Claire and I were in the auditorium of my high school, eating brownies. I had to wash her hands, so her, Jenna, and 2 other kids went out into the hallway to go to the bathroom. I followed, but when I got out there, Claire was missing. I ran all over, trying to find her, but I couldn't. I asked Jenna where she was, and Jenna ran to the front of the building and pointed to the outside. Weird thing, she was "pointing" using the ASL for "I love you." Anyways, I got this horrible feeling, thinking someone had kidnapped Claire. Then Jenna said, no, that she was at the stairs. I ran over there, and looked down a huge marble, spiral staircase, and I saw her little body about 5 flights down. I screamed in my dream, and I woke myself up. My heart still aches from that dream. I hate that. I wonder if it's my meds.

Snowbaby of death

Every day when I pick up the girls, Clairey HAS to give one of Dot's "Snowbabies" collectibles a kiss--don't know why. So on Wednesday, Dot walks Claire over to the snowbaby, Claire picks it up, and kisses it. Then, Claire wanted ME to kiss it. I walk over to Claire, and lean forward. Claire then proceeds to whack me in the mouth with said snowbaby. My lip busts, and MY FRONT RIGHT TOOTH IS CHIPPED!! Evil, evil little snowbaby!! I went home and filed the tooth, but damn, there's still a chip!!

And the Oscar goes to...

Clairey, Clairey, Clairey. I have never, in all my 30 years, seen such a momma's girl. It's insane. Every waking moment of your little life, you chant a mantra in your head: Must. Have. My. Mommy. As if lending you my boobs for the past 13 months haven't been fulfilling enough, you must have my entire being. Is it really necessary? It it really wise for you to spend all waking hours of your day riding on my once-slender-but-now-wide hips? If I refuse to pick you up, you throw yourself on the ground and wail--it's so very tragic. I should film you in black and white and create our very own film noir. Your face would definitely be half-lit. My little devil.

Pinto beans and pigs

Oh, the wonderful world of gymnastics! Jenna's first gymnastics class was on Saturday the 2nd. I have to admit, I was a tad worried. I mean, I doubt Cypress Academy has ever had the gates of hell opened during preschool tumbling. However, she shocked me and behaved rather well. Watching her was just wonderful. Her teeny-tinyness in that sparkly leotard. Her butt is so small--like two little pinto beans in a leotard. Stinking adorable. I wanted to jump right out of the parents' area, and bite that little pinto-bean butt. However, I was unable to accomplish that feat because Her Royal Highness, Princess Clairey was too busy trying to walk around the gym. Every time I picked her up, she'd shriek like a teradactyl and people would cover their heads and duck--afraid of the impending attack of a prehistoric bird. As soon as I'd set her down, she'd make a sprint for the floor beam then look back at me and flash a huge grin. I could see in her eyes, she was thinking, "Ha ha! Look at me mom, I'm breaking all the rules and laws of the gym! I'm drooling on a beam, I'm on the floor and I'm not supposed to be, and the worst of all: I'm wearing my street shoes on the spring floor! Bwahahaha!" Oh yes, she's a lawbreaker--she's got her mommy's nature. Speaking of my Boo-boo Magoo, she's such a charmer. She has this thing with shoes (ah yes, definitely my child), where they all must be in her mouth. "Shoes! Yes! To my mouth they must go!" Either that, or she has one on her right hand and crawls around with it. If anyone is missing a shoe, all we have to do is go to Clairey's room--it will be there. She also loves her toes. She likes to bite mine, but she likes to suck on hers. We're always saying, "Claire! Quit eating your pigs at the table!" or "Who has stinky pigs? Clairey does!" Cutie pie pig-eater.

How to melt me

Tell me, "Mommy, I love you so much!" as you wrap your arms around my neck and kiss me right on the lips with that precious little pucker of yours. You better move quickly, kid--I adore you so much, that I may just bite off those lucious little lips if you're not quick enough.