Feb 28, 2011

The best Claireyism yet...

It's 3:47 pm on Monday. I just got a call from Clairey's first-grade teacher:

Teacher: Hi, Mrs. Wisdom? This is teacher's name here, um...i need you to educate Clairey about something.
Me: Sure...what about.
Teacher: Well, she was acting all 'loosey-goosey' today, and I told her to 'please settle down, or i'll have to call your mommy'. She looked at me and said, "Oh no! Please don't call the whore!"
Me: WHAT? She called me a 'whore'???
Teacher: Yes. I'm pretty sure she didn't know what it meant, so i quickly told her that that's a naughty word, and we don't say that. Then i had to deal with the group of little girls that were standing around, asking, 'What's a 'whore'?'
Me: I have no idea where she heard that. [Honestly, i really don't. I would say 'hooker', or 'dirty leg', but never 'whore'.] I'll talk to her!

And we signed off.

I looked at Clairey. "Did you call me something bad at school today?"
"Are you sure? Did you call me a 'whore'?"
"You did. You called me a whore?! That's a bad word."
"I didn't know!"
"But why would you say that? What do you think it means??"
"I didn't want her to call you because that would be bad and i'd get in trouble!"
"So, you called me a whore."
"Yes! I said, 'No, don't call! The whore!!"
[and here, i figure it out.]
"You mean, 'the horror'?"
"YES! Don't call--THE WHORE!"


jgf said...

omg stephanie. i have tears running down my face as i read this- you have GOT to start selling this stuff.

Lavender Luz said...

I came here for Tito and because Jeni sent me.

But dayam! This story is hi-freakin-larious!

JD said...


Oh.my.word. So need to write a book, Stephanie!!!