Things you learn...

I like to read PostSecret. Call it a guilty pleasure. There are often "secrets" on there that make me sit and think. Today, there was one that made me smile:

"As a child, when the 'tooth fairy' left money under my pillow, I would sneak the few dollars I got back into my mom's purse. She was a hard working single mom."

I probably read that secret ten times. It reminds me of Clairey. You see, before I lost my job, nearly six months ago, the chicks pretty much were in need nor want of anything. If we went to the store, and they asked, "Mommy, can I get this, please?" The answer was usually either, "Yes, if you're good while we're here," or "Eh, you don't need that, but how about this?" Since my layoff, and particularly now that all the savings are gone and the 401k is gone, and there's NOTHING, if they ask, I have to tell them, "No, we don't have the money for THAT right now."

I'm always very careful to tell them "we don't have the money for THAT." I want to help them understand that we DO have money for FOOD, but we don't have money for...oh...Polly Pockets and Jonas Brothers crap and new movies. But now, after I say that, they always ask, "When you get a job?" Now, seriously, that breaks my heart. It takes everything I have to not look at them, with tears in my eyes, and say, "When mommy gets a job, i'm going to buy you a freakin' Webkinz factory."

But Clairey....Clairey rips my heart out with her gentle kindness. In the backseat of my car, there's a little cubby by their booster seats. In Clairey's, she has loose change, and about 4-5 dollar bills. I always hand change back there for them to put in their piggy banks, but apparently, although Jenna's makes it to the pig, Clairey stashes hers in the car cubby. A few weeks ago, we were in the car, and I hear Clairey scraping away back there, digging through her "treasures" that she keeps in her cubby. Her little hand pokes between the two front seats, and she's holding a handful of singles and a bunch of change.

"What's this for?"
"Here, mommy...you can have my money."
"I don't want your money, baby. When we get home, put it in your piggy bank."
"But mommy, if you take MY money, you won't need a job, and we can have money again."

I swallowed hard, corrected my driving skills--for I had nearly driven off the road and ran over the random roadsideworker--and smiled big.

I have the sweetest little kid ever. (Yeah, Jen's sweet, too, but i'm sure she's hoarding her money to take over the world.)

How many people hate YOU?

So, how many people hate YOU? I've been thinking about this since yesterday (i'll tell you why in a minute), and I think, as far as I know, only two people don't like me. Maybe i'm just being an idiot; perhaps, 50 people hate me, and i'm just too stupid to notice. However, I can think of only 2 right now: 1 doesn't matter, and the other one does. That other one matters because she's potentially standing between me and a fantastic job. UGH.

So, yesterday, i'm scouring the job boards (again), and as a habit, i always stop by HP. I mean, i've been working as an employee or as a contractor there for almost 10 years. And there it is...a perfect job. Yeah, yeah, i think that at least once a week, but THIS one----it called for a Master's in English, and specific knowledge in HP servers. Sign. Me. Up.

So, i go completely, ballistically excited, email all my HP contacts, and tell them to send a recommendation to the hiring manager. I was SO excited. Notice the "was." I find out who the hiring manager is, and it's a woman that I know HATES me. Seriously??? Of all the damn shitty luck. What ticks me off about this, is that when I was project managing, I gave this girl 110%, and for some reason, she was always unhappy with my work. She literally told my boss that she didn't want to work with me anymore--said I had a bad attitude and didn't do the work. WHAT??? Are you freakin kidding me??? Everytime she said something like that, it just crushed me. However, I had enough clients that loved me and said I busted ass, so I just chalked it up to her not liking me.

Anyways...i'm so bummed about this. This job is just sooooo perfect. UGH. I hope she's woman enough to put her personal differences with me aside and let me interview.