Jun 9, 2006

What I do on Friday nights

Let's see. What do I do on Friday nights without the kids? I'll make a list:

1. Lay on the chicks' playroom floor and wonder if they're having fun at their dad's.

2. Brush the My Little Pony's hair, because DAMN! that pony's hair was a tangled mess and no pony looking like that is going to reside in MY house.

3. Read an entire "Parents" magazine from cover to cover with no interruptions.

4. Call my mom, who invited me over this evening, then decided that she should not be home. I always knew she didn't like me, but really, does she have to be so blunt?

5. Call my best friend and offer to come over for drinks and naked Jello-wrestling.

6. Take a shower. A long shower. With no small children smashing their little faces against the glass door.

7. Park myself in my favorite chair with my laptop and wait for SMM to get on IM, and while I'm waiting, text message him. Really. Where the hell is he? He couldn't have gotten far...my hold on him is too tight.

8. Email my sister the semi-nudie photos that I took of her for her husband. He's a sergeant in the Marine Corps, and I was doing my duty as a good American. He informed me that he needs the pictures to look at while he's in the port-o-john. God Bless America!

9. Talk to my brother, while he's on his way to Dallas.

10. Blog.

Now, seriously. You'd think i'd have something better to do on a Friday night. But no. My only consolation is that my sister's sitting in NY and SHE'S sitting at home eating Chinese food. Hahahahaha! Let's all laugh at HER. So, I'M sitting in Houston, Texas by myself--big deal. SHE'S in New York. On a Friday night. Eating Chinese food in her expand-a-waist pants. Bwhahahahaha!


ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

Wow, time flies, and changes for everyone! I didn't realize that you'd gotten divorced and had a new man (best to both of you!). I moved from Dallas to Albuquerque about a month ago, and I can tell you: I love it here...no way in HELL I'd ever return to Texas!

(take care),

Nan said...

And DAMN was that chinese food good!

TFE said...

Note to self: If stewbie call on Friday night, answer phone at all costs...

Nik said...

Why didnt you call me....we could have rushed out to the strip club.

DWJSDating? said...

Too bad the kids were sick - damn that would have been fun!

Nik - I tried to get her to go to a club the other weekend and she just smiled on her way to Sonic!!!

stewbie2 said...

Hey...I had just blown $45 at the dirty toy store--if I would've had more cash...

ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

BTW, did you know that there seriously already exists a website called "evilpigs.com"? Been around for quite awhile. It's some random foreign band.

Just thought you might wanna know. ;-)