There's a first time for everything

Last night, for the first time ever, my babies were left with a babysitter. "Babysitter," as in, not my mother--who is over every weekend, because she just CANNOT stay away from the deliciousness of my kids. Of course, I was a nervous wreck--not that I didn't trust the sitter (she comes with HIGH recommendations), but because I was afraid for the sitter's life. I just knew that we'd come back to a scene from Gulliver's Travels--Miss KC being poor Gulliver, tied down to the ground, and my two girls as the Lilliputians--minus the political statements.

Since we went out with friends (read entry below), we left the kids at their house. Total= 4 kids. Two boys (3 and 5), and two girls (3 and 1.5). If that's not enough to drive someone to suicide, I don't know what is. The thing is, the boys are not "real" kids. They're some kind of genetic mutant children that GO TO BED AROUND 7 O'CLOCK. WITHOUT WHINING OR COMPLAINING. When they "stay up late," I've even heard them say, "Can I go to bed? I'm tired." Although their mother is my best friend, she refuses to let in on her secret. She just says, "They've always been like that...," and in my head, I'm thinking, "Ever since I started slipping Codeine in their milk." Seriously, there's just no explanation for that type of behavior. Regardless, even though their boys go to bed before my great-grandmother, the sitter still sucks $30-$40 bucks from their wallets each time she sits (from 6-10). I say "sucks," because if the kids are sleeping an hour after she gets there, she's not "earning" the money. It's totally like being a whore and getting paid for flossing your teeth--it just makes no sense.

Well, let me tell ya--Miss KC EARNED her money last night. When she asked, "What time do your girls go to bed?" I answered, "They don't." I saw raw fear in her eyes. I was kind enough to leave her a few random tips:

-If you see Claire about to scream, cover whichever one of your ears is closest to her. The scream is so high-pitched, your eardrum will burst and bleed.
-When you see Jenna running to the bathroom, please offer a "Make sure you wipe GOOD!"
-Claire usually goes to bed around 730, but because she's not at home, don't expect her to sleep until she passes out cold.
-Jenna won't go to sleep. She doesn't sleep at home, she doesn't sleep here. She's like some kind of super child who can function with only 5 hours of sleep.
-Put in a movie, and Jenna will watch it quietly. Just make sure YOU don't fall asleep, because SHE won't.

I think Miss KC took my tips quite well. As we pulled out of the driveway, I couldn't help but laugh in an evil fashion.

During dinner, Angel asked, "Do you want to call KC and check on the girls?" Scott answered, "NO. But then again, maybe we should call and check on KC?" hahahahaha. NO. I didn't want to give the girl an opportunity to tell us to come home.

We got back to the house at 1020-ish. We went in through the garage door. Monsters, Inc. was on the tv, Claire was passed on on KC, and Jenna was WIDE awake. KC looked like she'd had a run for the money.

I'd say since the sitter was still alive when we got there, that it was a good night. I'm not too nervous to leave them with a sitter anymore.