Missing: Chicken enchilada

Dear ConAgra Foods,

I eat Healthy Choice Meals every day. Well, almost every day. Okay, I eat them on the days that I feel like dieting. But anyways, I ate one today, because today, I am on the Healthy Choice Diet. Today, I ate the chicken enchilada. The box said, "We wrapped a spicy, low-fat mixture of diced chicken - both dark and white meat - red bell peppers, zucchini, and chilies inside two corn tortillas. The peppery sauce gets its creamy texture from nonfat cream cheese, and its Mexican-style flavor from green chilies, garlic, oregano and cumin." I have a few comments to offer:

Spicy? This was NOT spicy, my friend. "Spicy" burns your tongue, tantalizes your tastebuds, makes you say, "Damn! THIS is one spicy enchilada!" Your enchilada did none of that. I had to use so much salt, that it was no longer a "healthy choice" by the time I finished with it. Which leads me to my next question: Where in God's name are you able to find flavorless spices? Garlic, oregano, and cumin are the spices you list, but I'll be damned if I could taste even one of them. And honestly, I'm one of those people that looks at garlic, and you can smell it on me for a week. I actually didn't realize oregano was a Mexican spice either--I just thought it was what my parents smoked when I was a kid. Who knew? In all the many, many times I've been to Mexico, I have never seen anything flavored with oregano. Maybe what I thought was cilantro is really oregano.

Me: Hola, senor. Por favor, puedo tener una placa de cilantro para mis enchiladas?
Pablo: Cilantro?! CILANTRO?! No utilizamos cilantro en Mexico! Amamos a Italianos! Utilizamos el oregano! OREGANO!
Me: Perdon a me! Perdon a me! Por favor, no me golpee con sus maracas!

That might have happened on one of our trips, but it didn't. I'm also not saying that's good Spanish, because it's probably not. Back to the commentary.

I'm still trying to figure out where zucchinis fit in the whole "mexican" picture, but I'm really at a loss for that one. You also forgot to mention the black beans. Because there were black beans in there, too. Now that I type that, maybe I should have looked a little closer at these "black beans," to ensure their nutritional classification.

The most important point that I want to make, however, is that the box clearly states that it contains two enchiladas, yet I only received one. OH, that's right! I was STIFFED AN ENCHILADA! You enchilada-shorting bastards! I paid $2.18 for this choice of meal (that was, indeed, healthy), and it was missing a 'chilada! Do you understand? Comprehendas? UNO ENCHILADA. UNO, no dos. UNO. What I want to know, is who on your production line enjoyed MY enchilada? WHO on your production line ate my cardboard-tasting, Mexican-oregano flavored, mystery black-bean enchilada?! I'm just going to take a guess, but I'll bet it was Juan. That's right, good 'ole "Wandering Juan." You KNOW he's been wandering back and forth to different production lines, and your damn floor manager has done nothing to stop him! HE stole my healthy nourishment! I know he did! Isn't his cousin "Freeway Flamenco Freddy"?

In closing, I request that you ship me my missing enchilada. Although it had a few shortcomings, the low-fat sour-cream sauce really was a pleasing pick-me-up.

Ole,
Stephanie Townsend