Yesterday, I had a realization. An epiphany, if you will. I can't really say it involved Divine intervention, but I DID nearly run my car off the road, so I'll stick with the term.
I am the person I swore I would never become.
I'm trying to think back to when this actually happened. WHEN, exactly, did the world suck away all my coolness and leave me only this skin suit emblazoned with a huge 'M' on the front for "Mommy"? When did I not only "hit" 30-something, but BECOME 30-something? I AM GETTING OLDER. Holy freakin' Mother of God and all that is good in this world.
I'm thinking I crashed somewhere around the time I sold my Jeep. I had been a "Jeep girl" for so many years, casually vaulting myself into the driver's seat, never caring about my hair because it was just pulled in a half-assed ponytail. Even after I had Jenna, we became Jeep girls together. One of my favorite pics of her, is one of her sitting in the backseat of the Jeep, shades on, and a do-rag on her head. Yes, sometime after I sold the Jeep, I lost any grain of coolness that I had squandered for the past couple of years.
I sold the kick-ass Jeep and bought a VW Jetta Wagon. A WAGON. It DOES have a turbo, but that just means I can get to the sitter's faster. The damn wagon is so matronly, that I feel like a total ass when listening to Aerosmith. Why? Because the wagon knows no music but "Pooh's Top 40." There's no hope of remaining cool when you have a booster and a babyseat in your backseat. And princess phones, Dora books, and beads on your floorboards. And plastic "seat protectors" on the backs of the front seats to protect the leather from milk/juice/regurgitated animal crackers. And a stroller in the back. It's just not going to happen, but I didn't realize that I had let the dream die until yesterday.
Yesterday: When it finally hit me--I'm driving a VW wagon, my hair is cut in an "easy" style (the short style that every mom gets when they finally decide to cut off their hair), and I have succumbed to the "baby-weight-blame-game." These extra pounds on my hips? It's the baby's fault!! The extra four inches around my waist? The baby! I actually heard myself say to another woman, in the gym, "Before I had kids, I had such a nice shape!"
That, my friends, is rock bottom.
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About Me
- stewbie2
- My name is Stephanie, but you may call me "stewbie." I live in the thriving metropolis of Houston, Tx., and from my loins have sprung two beautiful baby girls--Jenna and Claire. I'm not mean, but I am horribly sarcastic. I consider it a gift. I work full-time as Social Media expert/Digital Marketing director, edit on the side, and am usually at the gym or the theatre--pick one. Although I have a BA and MLA in Literature, I still use serial commas and sometimes, I use the semicolon incorrectly. Oh, and I also have a hairless cat. His name is "Tito."
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6 comments:
I blogged about this same thing a while back. It sucks, doesn't it? I refuse to give up some of those little parts of myself, though. Even though the backseat of my car is littered with matchbox cars, pop-up books, and crushed goldfish crackers, and yes, there is a stroller in the back, too, I will not let go of who I was at 20. I liked her. Getting older doesn't mean we have to become completely different people. If you can remember being cool, it's still in you somewhere!
Well, you are clearly still hilarious and can be coerced into drinking, which, much like formaldehyde, helps to preserve youth. That's my working theory, at least. And let's face it, only a really cool individual would be so avant-garde as to equip her young daughter with a tampon instruction book for light (or medium or heavy) reading and sharing with friends. All hope is not lost!
Mike, you are a gem!
Just like all the girls who say "I would NEVER let myself go once I got married."
Hah.
I say that. But sadly know it isn't true...
My Jeep is literally falling apart, but I keep her.
I keep her because I still feel 18 when I drive her!
I keep her because I love driving through mud puddles!
I keep her because I know when the streets flood I can still go to the grocery store!
I keep her because I feel hot and sexy when the top is off!
Everyday, I deal with the fact that I will have to get rid of her soon.
One day, the bond we have created will be broken.
One day, I too will grow-up.
One day, I will realize that those mud puddles are not so fun anymore and are causing my bladder to explode.
One day, I will realize that I am running to the grocery store to get hemroid cream.
One day, I will realize that the wind noise when the top is off is causing me to lose my hearing.
But dear friend, until the dream ends, you can borrow my Jeep anytime ;)
Oh honey, we all have that day... I was driving a mini van and had my hair in a bob.So what do you do about it? You wait until you are 42, tell everyone to kiss your ass and then, before you know it? You're cool again.
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