A few weeks ago, we went to go see Dora at our local mall. I just can't stand people, so I tried to forget about it, but my husband remembered. So, on Saturday the 5th, we threw the kids in the Jeep and set off for the mall. For those of you without children, Dora is that little Mexican cartoon-girl that hangs out with the boot-wearing primate. She's EVERYWHERE. You just can't get away. You know you've hit it big when you become a fruit snack, and believe me, we have eaten our fair share of Dora fruit snacks. Back to the adventure...
We get to the mall, and it's so crowded with little kids, that I think I'm going to die. There are TONS of kids. There are a million little 2 to 6-year-old Mexican ninas dressed to the nines like it's their quincenera. Have you ever seen a 3-year-old in heels? I have. And here are my gringo kids, not even wearing a Dora shirt. I'm a terrible mother. Here we are, the only people in a radius of 50 yards speaking English, waiting to take a picture with Dora.
The line is hideously long, and Scott is about to blow a gasket, so I keep commenting on how fast the line is moving. Meanwhile, I'm looking for lice in the kid's head in front of me. Dark hair always makes me do that--look for lice, I mean. I don't know why. The time passes pretty quickly when you're doing lice-checks on random kids, so before I knew it, we were pretty far up in the line. Jenna is hanging on my leg like a pair of bad hose, and Clairey is in my arms, trying to jump out so she can see Dora. In the line, there was this cut-out of Boots (the monkey Dora hangs with), and Clairey just starts pointing and saying, "Boots! Boots!" But you have to imagine she's German, because she says "Boots" with a German accent--it comes out something like, "Byuts! Byuts!" So Claire's showing off her variable accent, and Jenna is still just hanging on my leg. I figure we'll get up there, Jenna will take one look at Dora, and scream. Because, seriously, she hates big-headed characters that look like they could possibly eat you, and, she just always embarasses me that way.
It's FINALLY our turn, Claire's breaking from my grip, Jenna's hanging from my leg, we turn the corner and THERE'S DORA. In a move that will shock me for the rest of my life, Jenna tears away from my leg, runs up to the huge-headed Dora and hugs her! Then she's just hanging on her. My kid, hanging on Dora. Giving her high-fives even, and saying, "Oh, Dora! I love you! I love you, Dora!" Being that Claire was just super-excited to see Dora, I walked her over there and went to set her down...not happening. She did that thing where you try to set her down, and she stays in the "I was just riding your hip" position. If you're a mom, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
We HAD to get a picture with Dora, so I squatted down on the floor next to Jenna and Dora, so Scott could take our picture. Right as he pressed the shutter, Dora decided to pat Clairey on the head. The look on Claire's face is priceless: it's a mix between "Holy Mother of God, what ARE you?" and "What the FUCK are you doing?!"
What a lovely outing. Gracias Dora, Gracias.
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3 comments:
It's all fun and games until the kiddies realize that their favorite characters are actually 7 feet tall, and don't blink or speak!
My 3 yr old niece loves Dora, if I ask her what book she wants be to read her it's always a Dora.
But yes she'd probably run screaming too from a 7 ft one.
Damn, so would I for that matter.
Well, cripes, I almost ran. Her HEAD was enormous.
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