What's the theme?

What's the blogging theme for Mondays? I can't remember, so hopefully, it's, "I'm going to bitch and whine about all the random shit that happens to me Monday." How's that workin' for ya?

So...I ran two miles this morning. Not a lot, I know, but get this: NOTHING WAS CHASING ME. Oh yes. Now that's impressive. 

I am a shitty runner. 

This morning, I ran two miles without stopping. Okay, I stopped once. Well, I didn't STOP, per se, but slowed down to a quick walk. I thought there was a dead cat in the street and I had to slow down to look. Eh, it was just a wet and flattened newspaper. BORING. I might try this whole "running" thing again tomorrow.

On another note, my right hand is pretty swollen. I'd think I had broken it, but seeing that I'm sitting here typing away, I think it's safe to assume that I have not. And how did I go about semi-breaking my hand? I'll be damned if the fricking linen-closet-doorknob hit me. I was just walking down the hall, and it hit my hand. Don't know HOW it happened, as the doorknob has been attached to that door in the very same spot for the past 5 years, but it did. Asshole doorknob.

Other randomness:
1. Clairey's been peeing and pooping in the potty since Friday. REJOICE! The end of diapers draws near...

2. My dad was able to bump-out the boo-boo on my MiniCooper. Some dickweed ran into my front fender last week, and DIDN'T LEAVE A NOTE. The person also took my fender flare with them. Asswipe. But dad just saved me $575. Dad, you rock.

3. I have so much laundry to do, that I'm considering donating it all to Purple Heart, and starting over.

4. Jenna just informed me, that she knows the Hollaback Girl lyrics say, "That's my shit," rather than the "That's my SHIP" that I've been substituting. I tried to get her to believe that Gwen Stefani's a sailor. That SO didn't work.

5. Claire has informed me that I am a "silly monkey-box-head." Alrighty then.

6. I love chocolate-covered marshmallow bunnies. Actually, I like the chocolate-covered marshmallow eggs, too. And seriously, a serving is actually 6 pieces! Rock on! Somebody finally figured out that, hell, I'm gonna eat half a dozen, so just make THAT a serving. Nobody eats just one marshmallow egg--that's sacreligious.

7. My formal dining room table is a mess from a redecorating stint...that I finished 2 weeks ago.

8. I still haven't set all the clocks in the house. I'm waiting for little elves to do it for me. Screw the shoes!! Set my clocks, you little bastards!

9. I bought a Barbara Streisand/Barry Gibbs CD. That's more of a confession...

And so ends "I'm going to bitch and whine about all the random shit that happens to me Monday."