Welcome to the Office Depot

Jenna, Jenna, Jenna...I swear to God, I should have named this kid 'Grace.' Yesterday, she fell off the new bunkbed and landed on the bar of the bed with her hip. Later, she fell off the barstool and hit the same hip, plus a shin. THEN, she's spinning around and tries to gallop away like a drunken pony, and runs into the foyer table. I knew it was bad when I heard the huge bang then silence.... I turned the corner and her mouth was open, but no sound. You guys all know what I'm talking about. Then the scream. I'm quite sure the electricity flashed. I was about to lecture her, then noticed the blood dripping out of her hair onto her shoulder. I took her in the bathroom, parted her hair and went, "Ewwwwww....THAT'S gonna need stitches." Once she heard that she went hysterical. Then I have Claire, in the middle of it all, chanting, "Jenna needs stitches, Jenna needs stitches!" I dragged Jenna out to the car, with her screaming all the while. Got to the ER, and proceeded to wait in triage for 2 hours. Got back there, the nurse looked at it, and said, "Yeah, that's gonna need some staples." Hysteria resumed. The ER was laughing though, because she was screaming, "Just GLUE it shut! I don't want staples in my head!!" The doctor took a look, and said, "Let's go into this other room..." and started walking back there. I took Jenna's hand and started walking. It took a nurse and myself to pull/push her into the room. THEN, it took 2 nurses, the doctor, and myself to wrap her burrito-style in a sheet, hold her down, and staple her head. Oh. THE. JOY.