I'm having one of those weeks where I just feel overwhelemed. Working full time, mommying full time, taking care of everything. I'm sure every mom has these days/weeks--where all you do finally catches up to you, then you get all pissy because you feel like you do everything. Then you realize that even if someone were to offer help, you wouldn't want them to because this is YOUR job. And, for instance, even though cleaning the cat litter is YOUR job, you still get pissy when you come home and it smells like pee because no one else cleaned it. Although, if someone else DID clean it, you'd be even more pissy because then you'd feel like they were secretly saying, "CRIPES. Can't she even clean the cat litter??!!" See? You just can't win.
And--i forgot to take the garbage out this morning. Which, technically, isn't my job, but I still do it. And get angry with myself when I forget to do it.
And then i look at the budget and cringe. Where does all the money go? Bills, bills, and more bills. After all is said and done, i have $900 a month left. Out of that money, has to come groceries, gas, savings money, and any and all incidentals. I spend, at the very least, $400 a month on groceries, and $80 on gas. That leaves me the HUGE sum of $420 for incidentals like, oh...school pictures, medical/dental expenses, anything we need for the house...you get the picture. I just spent $45 on a haircut (which i haven't done in MONTHS) and feel purely evil. Ay yi yi...sometimes, you just need to bitch. And I do, and I will. Because in bitching, comes truth. After I read this, I will realize that i need to suck it up and get over it. I am not, and will never be, the only one in this situation. I have a JOB. I have a roof over my head. I have food on the table. I have two little ones that I adore more than life. I have a husband that hasn't killed me. Yet.