I have a problem. No, not the "I can't have sex in my sheets" problem (that's a whole different post), but the other problem--the "I must buy shoes" problem. This lovely shoestore, which opened about 2 miles from my home, and 1 mile from my office, is having a "winter clearance" sale. I'm there so often, that there's a picture of me behind the counter that says, "BE NICE TO HER" in large print.
Obviously, I cannot possibly miss a sale of that caliber, so I snuck out of the office shortly after 11am yesterday, to go peruse through aisles and aisles of kitten heels, pointy toes, and loafers. Heaven, indeed. Somewhere around aisle 6, under the hanging sign that proclaimed, "Shoe Love!" I became perplexed. I was having to decide between black, Steve Madden ballet slippers stitched with hot-pink thread; or knee-high, black leather, pointy-toe boots with a grosgrain ribbon around the top. I hate decisions like these. As I was contemplating, I saw them: the black l.e.i. loafers that I wanted back in September, but because of the price, did not purchase ($50). They were on sale for $19.99. NINETEEN DOLLARS. Hell ya! I threw the other shoes down and paid for my loafers. With my $5-off coupon and my frequent-buyer card, I got a pack of trouser socks free. Free trouser socks--now how can you beat that?! I drove back to work, happy, then sat in the parking garage with my new shoes on, singing about being a bitch and a lover. What a great lunch break.
When I picked up the girls after work, the first thing Jenna said was, "Oh, mom! You got new shoes! Did you get me any?" She's definitely my kid. Unfortunately, they didn't have any nifty shoes in size 8.5 kids, so no, she didn't get any new shoes. I did tell her, however, that if daddy gets this new job, we're all celebrating with new shoes! (Keep quiet on this one, he doesn't know that I made this promise.) Well, we got home, Scott got home, we ate, got the girls washed and jammied, then went for a walk with the wagon. Still, I hadn't told Scott. I mean, when's a good time to tell your husband, who doesn't understand the need to have 8 pairs of black shoes, that you've just bought another? Is there a good time? I decided the walk wasn't a good time. There were still too many cars going through the neighborhood, and he could have easily pushed me in front of one.
We went to bed around 10pm. As we snuggled, I just couldn't keep it in any longer. The guilt was overwhelming. After a few moments of silence, I blurted out, "Iboughtnewshoestoday." And do you know what he said?! "I know. They're black. Jenna told me."